Divorce tips for female breadwinners: women who earn more than their husbands
Divorce can be a complex and emotionally charged process, especially when one partner is the primary breadwinner. It can get even more sticky when the woman earns more than her partner, which has increased dramatically in recent years. According to a study by Pew Research, 16% of opposite-sex marriages in 2022 had wives who were the sole or primary breadwinners, which is roughly triple the amount from 50 years earlier (5%), and it’s really challenged dynamics in partnerships. Further, in marriages where wives are the primary earners, husbands’ leisure time increases significantly (compared with egalitarian marriages), while the time men spend on caregiving and housework stays about the same. So if you’re the female breadwinner in your household, you could truly be burning the candle at both ends if you don’t have a supportive partner.
If you are the female breadwinner in your marriage and are facing divorce in Massachusetts, it’s important to understand how your financial situation may impact the proceedings. This blog provides an overview of key steps and considerations to help you navigate the divorce process while protecting your interests.
Here are our 8 divorce tips for female breadwinners to consider during the divorce process:
1. Understand Massachusetts Divorce Law
Massachusetts is a no-fault divorce state. This means that you do not need to prove wrongdoing by your spouse in order to be granted a divorce. Simply not wanting to be married anymore is sufficient enough. The most common ground for divorce in Massachusetts is “irretrievable breakdown” of the marriage. However, in cases involving significant assets, income disparities, or children, it’s essential to know how the law may affect your financial responsibilities and custodial rights.
2. Prepare Financially
As the primary wage earner, you may face unique financial considerations during divorce. Some of the financial factors to consider include:
Division of Assets:
Massachusetts is an equitable distribution state, which means that assets are divided fairly, but not necessarily equally. The court considers factors like the length of the marriage, each spouse’s contributions (financial and non-financial), and future financial needs.
Alimony:
You could be required to pay alimony, depending on your spouse’s needs, your ability to pay, and potential child support. In Massachusetts, the duration of alimony is based upon the length of the marriage. Although there is no set formula, case precedent suggests alimony payments of approximately 23-28% of the difference in the parties’ respective incomes. If your spouse is unemployed or underemployed but has the ability to work, you may want to seek an imputation or attribution of income. This identifies the amount of earnings that your spouse could receive if he was employed in accordance with his work history and education level.
Debt Division:
Debts incurred during the marriage are also divided equitably. If you’ve been the primary earner, you may have some concerns about being responsible for debts incurred by your spouse. There may even be debts you were unaware of and which did not benefit the household.
Retirement Accounts and Assets:
If you have a 401(k), pensions, or other retirement savings, these are considered marital assets and will likely be divided. A Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) is often required to divide certain retirement accounts incident to divorce without tax consequences.
3. Child Custody and Support
If you have children, Massachusetts courts prioritize the best interests of the child when determining custody and parenting time. As the primary breadwinner, it’s important to understand how custody arrangements might impact your financial responsibilities. Your employment obligations may also affect custody determinations:
Child Support:
Child support is determined using a state-mandated formula that considers both parents’ income, the time the child spends with each parent, and other factors. If the parties share joint physical custody, as the higher-earning spouse, you may be required to pay child support to your ex.
Custody Arrangements:
In Massachusetts, joint legal custody and physical custody is common. However, you can seek primary physical custody if it serves your child’s best interests. The court considers many factors, including your ability to care for your child’s emotional, financial, and educational needs. Unfortunately, female breadwinners can be penalized for using childcare options that don’t seem to translate to their male counterparts due to gender bias. Additionally, some unemployed/underemployed husbands often claim that their lack of employment was due to childcare responsibilities. Even if the family paid for third-party caregivers during the marriage. It can be helpful to document your responsibilities for the children. In court this is often referred to as the “invisible load” or “second shift” of responsibilities after your day job. Include who schedules and brings the children to medical/dental appointments, communicating with school staff and caregivers, registering and bringing the children to extracurricular activities, and more.
4. Spousal Support (Alimony)
As a female breadwinner, it’s important to understand that you might be required to pay spousal support (alimony):
Duration:
In Massachusetts, the length of the marriage is a major factor in determining alimony. A general rule of thumb is that the longer the marriage is, the longer you may have to pay alimony. Long-term marriages of 20 years or more can have an unlimited duration. These typically terminate when the payor reaches full Social Security Retirement age.
Types of Alimony:
Massachusetts has different types of alimony: general term alimony, rehabilitative alimony, and reimbursement alimony. The most common is general term alimony, which adheres to the durational limits as set forth above. Rehabilitative and reimbursement alimony is more common in short-term marriages.
Impact of Gender:
While men and women can both be required to pay or receive alimony, being a female breadwinner can impact the expectations around financial support for your spouse. But, Massachusetts courts can and do order female breadwinners to pay alimony to lesser-earning husbands despite societal norms.
5. Protect Your Interests
Consult a Divorce Attorney:
Having a knowledgeable family law attorney is essential, especially when significant financial assets or income disparities are involved. They help you understand your rights, strategize to protect your income, and negotiate favorable terms for support and asset division.
Financial Advisor:
A financial planner or preferably a CDFA (certified divorce financial analyst) can be crucial. They help ensure that you understand the long-term financial impact of your divorce as well as tax implications. And their guidance is invaluable to making informed and data-driven decisions.
Document Everything:
Keep detailed records of your income, contributions to the household (monetary and non-monetary), and any significant expenditures. This will be helpful in negotiations and/or court proceedings.
Secure Your Credit:
If you have joint accounts or credit cards with your spouse, consider separating your accounts and monitoring your credit to avoid surprises during the divorce process. However, consult with a divorce attorney prior to making any big moves. Certain financial restraining orders automatically go into effect once a divorce is filed.
6. Consider Mediation or Collaborative Divorce
As a female breadwinner, you may want to explore alternative dispute resolution options. Avenues such as mediation or collaborative divorce minimize conflict and reach a fair and mutually agreeable settlement. These options can give you more control over the outcome and might be less costly/time-consuming than a contested divorce. These methods also help to preserve future co-parenting relationships.
7. Manage Emotional Well-Being
Divorce can be emotionally challenging, especially when it involves significant changes to your finances and family dynamics. Consider seeking support from a therapist, counselor, or divorce coach to help manage the emotional aspects of divorce. Support groups or online communities for women going through similar situations can also be great resources for guidance and encouragement.
8. Update Estate Plans
Once your divorce is finalized, it’s crucial to update your estate plan, including your will, beneficiaries, and powers of attorney (both health and financial). Ensure that these documents reflect your new life circumstances and intentions.
Navigating divorce as the primary breadwinner can present challenges, but understanding your rights, responsibilities, and options is essential for achieving a fair and balanced outcome. By preparing financially, seeking the right support, and working with experienced professionals, you can move forward with confidence and security.
If you have specific questions or need assistance with your divorce in Massachusetts, it’s always best to consult with an experienced family law attorney, like those at our firm, who can help guide you through the process based on your unique situation. Get started with us by scheduling a Free Discovery Call today! We offer FLAT FEE DRAFTING SERVICES. If you are looking for high-quality professional legal services that’s flexible for your budget, explore our Tier Service Offerings.