Emotional Support in Divorce
Why Emotional Support in Divorce Can Save you Time, Money, and Frustration
Divorce touches every aspect of a person’s life—from identity and finances to housing, children, and social connections. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or destabilized right now, know this: you’re not alone. That reaction is a completely normal response to having your world turned upside down. It’s why emotional support in divorce is just as critical as legal guidance.
Although I’ve been an attorney for over 13 years and have not personally gone through a divorce myself, several years ago I supported my brother through his divorce from my former sister-in-law. That experience gave me a rare window into the emotional side of divorce. This is one I don’t always get to witness so closely in my professional role. Its effects still linger today, as my own children navigate the absence of their aunt during family holidays and milestone moments.
Over the course of my career, I’ve had the honor of guiding hundreds of people through the divorce process. Time and again, I’ve seen that clients who receive emotional support alongside skilled legal guidance experience more favorable outcomes. As a secondary benefit, they also spend less on attorney’s fees and move through the process with greater ease and clarity.
What Happens When Emotional Support in Divorce is Ignored
When the emotional component of divorce is ignored, people can lose sight of realistic outcomes, disregard their attorney’s advice, and become caught in internal conflict. This often leads to unnecessary time, expense, and frustration spent chasing results the court is unlikely to deliver.
That’s why I deeply value partnering with divorce coaches, therapists, and other listening professionals. This allows my clients to receive critical emotional and nervous system support while I focus on the legal strategy. Getting to the root of your fears, goals, and values is a powerful part of addressing divorce head-on. Additionally, it can help heal patterns you may not have realized you were carrying, so they don’t follow you into your next chapter.
The Courts Don’t Take Emotions into Account
While divorce is an intensely emotional experience for the people going through it, family court operates within a rigid framework governed by statutes and case law. This system can feel cold or unfair—and sometimes it is. But it’s the structure we must work within unless both parties agree to an out-of-court resolution, such as mediation.
Within this framework, it’s important to understand that while an affair may be emotionally devastating, infidelity typically has little impact on the outcome of a divorce unless significant marital funds were used in connection with the extramarital relationship. Family court is not designed to right emotional wrongs or make either party whole. This is why it’s essential to arm yourself with emotional support during the divorce process. I’ve seen firsthand how clients motivated by punishment or revenge often set themselves up for long, expensive legal battles that ultimately fail. The court views divorce as the dissolution of a business partnership, focused on dividing assets and debts—not assigning blame. In no-fault divorces, misconduct rarely carries legal weight.
How Emotional Support in Divorce Benefits Parents
For many parents, the most emotionally charged part of divorce involves issues related to children—custody and parenting time. As a parent of two school-aged children myself, I deeply empathize with this pain. But as an attorney, I’m also clear about the legal reality. Unless there are serious concerns such as abuse, neglect, or substance use, it is inevitable that parents will spend less time with their children than they would if the marriage remained intact. That loss deserves to be grieved.
At the same time, children are remarkably perceptive. They know what’s happening behind closed doors. Divorce itself doesn’t harm children—but prolonged exposure to conflict and instability can. While the decision to divorce is incredibly difficult, many parents find that once the process begins, a sense of relief gradually takes hold.
Finally, while it may sound simplistic, mindset matters. Even in the most high-conflict cases, I’ve witnessed meaningful breakthroughs when we stop allowing emotions to dictate decisions. Once one or both parties shift toward objectivity, compromise, and reasonableness, we can start to move forward. On the hardest days, having that emotional support in divorce will allow you to will that mindset into existence.
You may not feel in control of the process, but with the right support, you can regain control over how you experience it. The future may feel uncertain—but that uncertainty also holds possibility.
Struggling to Co-parent?
We’re hosting our second Purple Cloud Clarity Session on January 29th, 2026, focused on Weathering Custody Challenges. Join Jolee and special guest, Co-Parenting Coach Maria Natapov, as they share practical guidance on creating co-parenting schedules that work for your life, how to navigate common co-parenting challenges, and strategies to help you move forward with clarity and confidence.